Trust in the Process
Strangely, everything changed once I stopped resisting. The opponent who was aggressively attacking suddenly started to back away from me. And in turn, that made me feel more confident to get close. I could feel the moves the opponent made were not as effective and he was getting more and more tired as the match continues. And finally I was able to take advantage of a moment when he was trying to execute a move to execute mine and scored a point. Shifu has demonstrated this many times, that he is able to get in close to his opponent effortlessly. He has always reminded not to power up, but somehow it has always felt very counterintuitive for me before. I had tried not to power up but there was always some hesitation within me in the past. It is at this stage of training where I fully trust in the system that I appreciate his words. What appeared to look weak turned out to be really strong!
Just Keep Practicing
I realized the only way to truly trust in the process and remove all doubt and hesitation is through consistent practice. Even if you do not feel it now, all the practice will slowly accumulate over time and bear fruit eventually. In the past, I was not able to feel the effectiveness of the system and thus was not confident enough to rely on it, so I always end up falling back to my physical strength. But through all the practice, I began to become more aware of the various connections within my body and am now able to execute moves that my body was not capable of in the past. This year, I’m finally able to feel my lower body’s connection to the ground, which in turn strengthen my mindset that no matter how hard the opponent pushes, I’m confident that I will not fall so easily. So at the end of the day, it was the practice that brought about the change in mindset. So practice, practice, practice!